http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/en-EUhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/6a/27bbee29a7b4a1129eaf57a1151de3_160x200.jpg <p> I should not be on here, reading and writing blogs, i should be doing my course work which until today i have barely so much as looked at! It's due in tom, my printer has died on me, so now have to transfer it to my friends and print it off there. Mean while i've the dinner to cook the kids to entertain, remants of a relationship to dispose of and frustration at myself for leaving it to the last minute...again!!!</p> <p>Woe is me, some may do their best work under presure but am not so sure about me, we shall see, i have completed most of it, just have to finish an essay which is the bit i'm not good at, rounding things off to a satisfactory conclusion (in that respect it's not just eassys) anyway best get on with it, wish me luck xx </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/03/09/last-minute-again-3842770/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/03/09/last-minute-again-3842770/Sun, 09 Mar 2008 18:30:52 +0100 <p>haven't blogged for some time now. We had our weekend in Rome, it was great. Things got really heated between us before we went, we talked we went away, things were good. We came back and nothing had changed really, i feel a fool i feel like shit! We've shouted and screamed at each other, he's had his hands round my throat, he's thrown furniture around and i laughed in his face...sounds really fucked up doesn't it!! I won't, i refuse to be scared of any man, i won't be intimidated i don't care what they do to me, i grew up that way and i'm damned if i'll go out that way!!! He got changed to go out for the night, i've thrown his stuff out without bags into the rain, i love him but i hate him and this has to end </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/03/09/title-3839731/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/03/09/title-3839731/Sun, 09 Mar 2008 00:20:22 +0100 <p>He's home on leave at mo before leaving for afgan on the 4th of april. I'm so excited cos we're going to Rome for a few days next week-can't wait! Be fantastic to have some quality time alone in such a fab city! People who've been have been telling me i'll love it, and i know i will. Only down side to is that he has to go striaght back to work when we get back <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> Just have to make the most of it!</p> <p> My oldest son just celebrated his 14 birthday!!!!!!! scary he's that old, i can still remember vividly being 14 myself, can't possibly be so long ago can it?? He's gonna be a giant of a man if he doesn't slow down his growing, he currently is 6ft 2, we're a tall family thou, i'm 5ft 11 myself. There all off school for a week, so have seemingly millions of teenagers and other kids flowing through the house, eating all the food lol </p> <p> I turned the computer on to finish my essay, that was 2 hours ago and i still haven't started it............off i go </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/19/holidays~3748554/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/19/holidays~3748554/Tue, 19 Feb 2008 09:23:05 +0100 <p> Do you know what!? sometimes i think to myself why do i f**king bother!?? I've just spent the whole day with a friend who as always is upset and stressed about her relationship. I've been listening to her go on and on for bloody hours!!</p> <p> Yet ten mins ago after a row with my partner, i phone her up to talk to her and vent my splene about it-does she have the time to give me.....NO!!!! instead i get- i'm fed up, i'm in bed blah blah and tells me she knows another friend is home, so i can talk to her instead!! Fuckinhg cheek!! I bend over backwards when she calls for a moan, i've listened to her whilst trying to cook dinner, going to loo, after shes woken me from sleep! but can she spare me 10 mins or so!!!!!!!!!</p> <p>fine, bollocks to her! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/13/excuse_me_for_having_a_bad_day_too~3724087/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/13/excuse_me_for_having_a_bad_day_too~3724087/Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:35:36 +0100 <p>What a brilliant night it was!!! danced the night away, drunk too much, though happy to say i have no hangover <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> My friend hasn't been out for a year, her last birthday in fact! It didn't take her very long to get plastered, she was funny, needed the whole dance floor to herself, seemed completly oblivious to fact any one else was in the building.</p> <p>I got offered 4 phone numbers and an invite out for dinner, drinks were being handed to be left and right (though don't like taking drinks of strange men, been spiked before) Don't know why all this attention was lavished on me, but i enjoyed it <img src="/img/smilies/graysmilewinkgrin.gif" alt=";D" class="middle" border="0"> stated my position clearly, "can i bring along my partner?" being in a relationship doesn't seem to put anyone of these days though, bad isn't it!</p> <p>Got an engagement party to attend next say night and then after i need to spend as little as poss as my fella and i are going to Rome for 4 days........can't wait i'm so excited!! Ant of you been? if so anything besides the obvious worth going to see?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/10/a_good_night_was_had~3706587/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/10/a_good_night_was_had~3706587/Sun, 10 Feb 2008 15:08:48 +0100 <p>I want to write something, but i don't want to keep moaning............</p> <p>..............................nope its all a moan up!</p> <p>I shall spare you all tonight <img src="/img/smilies/grayuhoh.gif" alt="U-(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/07/not_tonight_not_again~3695512/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/07/not_tonight_not_again~3695512/Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:01:33 +0100 <p>I feel like crap!!! got a cold which is making me feel sick too. Sneezing coughing eyes watering and my head hurts...woe is me <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> It best be gone by sat, am going out with a friend who hasn't been out for an eternity! used to have such fun! Its her birthday, and we have decided to check out our old stomping ground...can't wait...not keen on looking like ruldolf thou, christmas is long gone!!!</p> <p>have spent the day with another friend who's partner has just been caught using dating sites, and not for the first time. She'll rant and rave but then let him off the hook (he'll do it again) this time is the 5th and they have only been seeing each for 4mths!!! They are currently in talks to see where they are going from here...... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/06/poorly~3690337/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/06/poorly~3690337/Wed, 06 Feb 2008 22:25:39 +0100 <p>I'm sooooooo tired, but why don't i go to sleep??????? the past few days i've been awake till gone 2 and am up again by 7! </p> <p>Today i saw a guy who always tell me (normally) how good i look, but today only said that i look tired. When i go to bed, after i've worn out my eyes reading (any dean koontz novel) i just lay there mind buzzing over everything.</p> <p>Any tips here, i need my 8 hours at least <img src="/img/smilies/graysleep.gif" alt=":zz:" class="middle" border="0"> <img src="/img/smilies/graysleep.gif" alt=":zz:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/06/tried_counting_sheep_thanks~3685764/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/06/tried_counting_sheep_thanks~3685764/Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:41:51 +0100 <p>Sitting in silence, afraid to be seen,<br> words of hatred envelope me,<br> with pain in my heart from all that has been<br> is there no love left thats been saved for me? </p> <p>Tomorrow when i wake, will i find it were a dream,<br> a terrible nightmare, and i'll rise with a scream<br> will i be happy and laughing with glee<br> there be no misery and dispair in store for me </p> <p>I awake and i find, tomorrow is here<br> it wasn't a dream....<br> my life is desolation and fear </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/06/my_childhood~3685580/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/06/my_childhood~3685580/Wed, 06 Feb 2008 00:10:23 +0100 <p> Weekend over, spent it decorating the hall stairs and landing, now it's back to work again!!! groan!!! spent the morning with 18 screaming snot nose devils (i love it really) (i do) Went for a swim before getting in a late lunch of salmon and chicken salad followed by a fruit salad which was very yum actually. Diet going well the last 46 hours, lets keep it up</p> <p> At home now hoping the local wildlife will fly in through the window and clean for me like in that advert (nips off to open window) whilst i sit back and wait for my happy, singing, polite angelic children to dance in from school.....wakes up, realises none of this will happen. <img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"> and is there a point to my dayly efforts in keeping the house nice?? when they come in they'll kick off their shoes, throw down their bags and jackets look in the fridge to see if i've stocked up (i haven't)(ha) before they say hi mum............let the battles comence </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/04/big_sighs~3678381/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/04/big_sighs~3678381/Mon, 04 Feb 2008 16:12:31 +0100 <p> Well i grounded him, banned him from the computer and all other games consoles. So far i've caught him playing with his nintendo Ds in the bath! sneaking a go on the PS2 and i've just switched on the computer to see that not only has he been on the computer, the stupid child sent me a post on facebook this morning at 7:10am...what an idiot!!!</p> <p> So now i've extended the grounding to his birthday (two weeks) and i'm going to have to change the password so he can't get on the comp. He just says "sorry" in a, i'm bored and not bothered tone, so i've sent him upstairs for the rest of the evening! </p> <p> Been letting him use my mobile this weekend cos i got free texts, and once again i find that he's not taking me at all seriously cos he's texts his mates, telling them that i was taking him and his brother and sister swimming!!! </p> <p> When i was his age i tried it all on too, but jesus, i was a damn site cleverer about it than he is!!!! Not that i want him to go behind my back but come on!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/03/teenage_troubles_cont~3674632/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/02/03/teenage_troubles_cont~3674632/Sun, 03 Feb 2008 19:44:47 +0100 <p> I feel like ringing his neck, ahhhhhhhh bloody kids, well teenage son anyway! Suddenly got very interested in girls. Every day he's coming home late, be it a few mins to an hour. Lying to me all the time. So we have a big chat yesterday (again), think i've got through to him this time, then he comes home today with another pack of lies! I've grounded him, banned him from comp and all other consoles, and no telly! May sound harsh, but its got to that point where he obviously isn't taking my threats seriously, and too a degree i don't blame him, i do have a tendency to let him off the hook early.</p> <p> All this though i've been expected it, it teenage hormones blah blah etc etc we've all been there. I feel really saddened by the fact we seem to be losing our bond, i feel like i'm always going on at him, i want to be able to give him a certain amount of freedom, but he has to accept some boundries. I explain why to him, always been up front, i don't say no and thats it. I feel so frustrated and at a complete loss, if this doesn't get through to him what next?????</p> <p> I don't like being the bad guy, it really gets me down, when we get on its great but if this keeps up we're going to lose it. I couldn't stand it if he felt like i did about my mother. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/30/teenage_troubles~3656059/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/30/teenage_troubles~3656059/Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:10:58 +0100 <p> The night out was great..drunk lots and laughed loads. There was a couple of girls with us i hadn't met before, one of whom was a complete riot, a laugh you wouldn't believe lol We were warned about it before we went, but still was unprepared for the full magnitude of it, she laughed/brayed loudly and often, heads were turning to our direction all night, but everytime she laughed we all followed, never heard anything like it! </p> <p> My sister and i decided to leave them about half 12 to go onto a club, so we're all kissing and hugging our goodbyes, the laugh gets up to give me a hug and a kiss...anothor kiss...and another...i keep giving her my cheek (now very scared lol) she puts her hands to my face tells me i'm beautiful and kisses me again! still not letting me go, I'm laughing, maybe hysterical, she says she needs a good snog!! i tell her, yeah but not with me eh lol she cracks up again and tells me she loves me. I turn to my mate and asks is she gay, "she's married" my friend replies. Her point............. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/28/sat_night~3643105/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/28/sat_night~3643105/Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:24:52 +0100 <p> My libido dissapeared just before christmas, probably the stress of everything that went on...but oh my god!! it has come back with avengence, i can't get enough, my fella came back last night, we had a massive row, then fucked like rampant animals, it was great!! this moring when we woke, again this afternoon, and i'm still as horny as i was before!</p> <p> I'm off out with the girls tonight, i'm gonna be a nightmare, i know it. Hoping he'll come back before i leave and satiate my appetite........feels a bit wrong considering i am still pissed with him actually! </p> <p> bloody red wine doesn't help either lol</p> <p> Better go sort myself out (as in getting bathed etc for night out) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/26/the_return_of_the_libido~3636178/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/26/the_return_of_the_libido~3636178/Sat, 26 Jan 2008 18:47:20 +0100 <p> Trying very hard to stick to an exercise plan and diet, going well so far, but this drinking 2 litres of water a day...is it natural on top of all the other fluids?! I've been up and down those stairs, and i jest you not, every 15 mins, i'm lucky if i manage to get to a break in the programmes i've watched. I just sit here jigging away in frustration that i need again!!</p> <p> and i do need again............................... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/23/i_need_a_downstairs_loo~3623046/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/23/i_need_a_downstairs_loo~3623046/Wed, 23 Jan 2008 22:47:22 +0100 <p> The girls and i took a trip into canterbury for a bit of lunch, and some shopping, trying to make the most of the last week in the sales. The girls got an aray of tops jeans and boots, what did i get....track bottoms for yoga, and internet extension cables!! oh and a couple of games for my friends sons birthday. Was looking for a nice jacket, but i'm a tall gal and the ones i liked where to short, i find shopping very frustrating</p> <p> Was funny though, my friend brought a nice pair of boots, decided to put them on and wear them there and then, five minutes out of the shop,she gets targeted by a well aimed dollope of pigeon plop-splat striaght on her new boot lol was very amused <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> (how do you get the face icons up on here?) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/23/crap_in_the_city~3621303/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/23/crap_in_the_city~3621303/Wed, 23 Jan 2008 17:36:44 +0100 <p>Feeling fine today, still haven't said anything to him though, can't quite seem to let him off the hook just yet...don't know why really. Had a good day, did yoga with a friend this morning, then went down the pub and celebrated.....</p> <p>What is it with an afternoon drink that makes your legs feel like jelly, and even though i only had three white wine and sodas i feel like i could sleep the rest of the day! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/22/need_a_snooze~3616254/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/22/need_a_snooze~3616254/Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:21:38 +0100 <p>I don't know, i've been bombarded with messages from him today, i woke up feeling that i may have over reacted, though i still can't seem to bring myself to say so to him.</p> <p>I read those messages and immediatly jumped in guns blazing! I said yesterday that i knew he hadn't done anything just by what the rest of the texts said. I've looked at the messages again and they don't seem quite as bad on second look, the one about the pictures, read " sounds nice, i'd like to see it, does your phone send pics? </p> <p>He said he'd called her gorgeous cos she was on a downer about her love life, but doesn't know why he called her babe...been friends for years but hasn't seen her since before he went to iraq in 05. </p> <p>I want to believe him and i think i do, but some thing is holding me back............ </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/21/maybe_i_over_reacted~3611317/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/21/maybe_i_over_reacted~3611317/Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:13:35 +0100 <p>What an arse!! lets not worry about my (ex) fella going to Afganistan, i found out he's been texting his ex superior (female) calling her babe, telling her she's gorgeous and asking if her phone sends pictures kiss kiss kiss!!!</p> <p>Apparently i'm over reacting and he was just seeing how she was???!!! I know he hasn't physically done anything, cos he did also ask about her love life and if she'd met some bloke. Doesn't take away fron the fact that he (as far as i'm concerned) was flirting with her, if she had offered it, would he have taken it?? </p> <p>Is that how your talk to your superiors these days??!! i'm am so fucking angry!! with myself though, cos this isn't the first time! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/20/what_a_b_d~3605328/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/20/what_a_b_d~3605328/Sun, 20 Jan 2008 16:33:49 +0100 <p>I waited and waited and as i suspected, he turned up just as i was about to leave to pick up the little ones. Can you believe it, he waited around for me to get back!!! pick your jaws off the floor everyone lol</p> <p>It turned out to be the same repair man that came last week when boiler broke down. The leaking rad was the one he took off the wall to drain them out (though he swears he never touched the bit its leaking from....yeah ok) He was quite tasty as well, makes a change from the usual workmen i get! This was the one time i did have to lie to my rather insecure partner lol He never fails to ask me in a accusating tone.."good looking was he!" </p> <p>Talking of my beloved, he's off to Afganistan in April <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> got a 6mth tour. Hoping to have a long weekend in Rome before he goes, a bit of time just the two of us, be nice. Going to miss him so much, but on the bright side we'll probably write to each other every day. When he was in Iraq i recieved an Ebluey everyday which really kept me going. He just recieved all his kit, which he seemed excited about, most of it's too small at the moment (christmas strikes again) I know he is dreading it as am i, but the one small mercy is that he's a clerk so he won't go out on the field or what ever they call it quite as much as some of the others.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/17/bit_of_this_and_that~3593338/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/17/bit_of_this_and_that~3593338/Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:16:16 +0100 <p> Two days off work! and what am i doing ( besides writing this of course)? I'm waiting in for 3 separate repair men! 2 yesterday and 1 today! </p> <p>Got a leaky rad, been waiting for bloody ages, have to pick the kids up from school soon, and you can put money on it that he'll either turn up, A-seconds before i have to go or, B- while i'm gone! and even if i put a note on the door saying back in five, i'll come home to a card on the mat, saying, we called but you were out!!!!</p> <p>The things i could be doing instead...........</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/16/waiting_in_again~3585888/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/16/waiting_in_again~3585888/Wed, 16 Jan 2008 15:43:29 +0100 <p> I got called into the school on friday, my youngest son bless him had been sobbing all afternoon over his gran, and the day before apparently. He hasn't said a word to me about how he feels, so was a bit of a shock. He's seemed fine, we've spoke about her, and he's been ok. Guess he didn't want me to see him upset, bless him <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> Things are getting back to normal now though, so hopefully the children will follow. I'm exercising again, decided to try yoga, well, it seemed to easy at the time, then i wake up the next day and oh my god!!! every bit of me ached, must of done it right lol</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/15/last_friday~3580379/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/15/last_friday~3580379/Tue, 15 Jan 2008 14:12:15 +0100 <p> Decided to get back on track with things, I'm sure my mother in law would want nothing less! </p> <p> So got the kids to school, myself to work, and then i went to aquacise! still manged a swim after too. Aquacise...how embarrassing. the instructor made us all in groups at turn, hold onto the side and jump, making our more than ample behinds, break out of the water (causing tidal waves to those behind) not a pretty sight i can tell you. After seeing more than i wished of the group before me, a mental image of my own backside flashed before me! diet time me thinks!</p> <p> Why does the simple thought of dieting make me so hungry???</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/10/bottoms_up~3558801/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/10/bottoms_up~3558801/Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:24:02 +0100 <p> Well, after all that went on today. The mother in laws sister and family had came down from scotland to attend the funeral, and they came to us early evening. It was lovely to see them, though shame we only ever seem to see them when someone dies!?</p> <p> She told us how the funeral went, a real tribute to her by all accounts, and people were standing in the church so many came to pay their respects! She was a very well liked lady, it used to take hours going through town with her, stopping every fifty yards to talk to someone else lol she will be very missed, and by lots!</p> <p> Right well, i'm pretty bloody knackered after today so i'm going to get myself an early night, thanks again to you guys who replied to my last post, good advice and kind words which i'm taking aboard so thanks again x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/09/what_a_day~3553662/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/09/what_a_day~3553662/Wed, 09 Jan 2008 22:37:57 +0100 <p> What a horrible morning! My mother in laws funeral is today, she died just after christmas. My childrens father doesn't want them to attend the funeral, and up till today everyone was ok with it. My daughter woke up in tears saying that she wants to go now. I split with their dad 4 years ago, we don't get on that well. I tried speaking with her, said we can take flowers up at the weekend and say our goodbyes, but she's just distraught. I've spoke to her dad, who in turn spoke to her, and he really doesn't want her to go. I agree on some levels but its difficult. She's now laying on the sofa watching the telly, she looks so sad. I can't go now either, i don't want to send her to school upset, they'd send her home again anyway. We're all going to miss her so much, she absolutely adored her grand children and they in turn adored her. My eldest son won't talk about her, goes very quiet when she's mentioned. I think he's bottling it all up inside himself, he always popped into see her on his way to school and sometimes on the way home. I feel totally useless in comforting them, i just don't know what to do for the best. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/09/loss_of_someone_very_special~3550756/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/09/loss_of_someone_very_special~3550756/Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:46:04 +0100 <p>phew, he's gone back to work, i won't see him for two weeks now, so should be able to get my head on striaght again. I'm back to work myself tomorrow, had 3 weeks off, been dying to get back to normal, but now its here..........</p> <p>Talking of normal, i've got to get back on the diet, am currently sitting here with my jeans button undone, not a pretty picture! I've spent all my time off, grazing like some farm animal (take your pick) Drank probably a whole years worth of wine in that time too! feeling like a slob! So, the plan is to get back to work, take up swimming and eat a good balanced diet! urgghhhh why do i do it too myself, why why why??!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/06/back_to_work_again~3537960/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/06/back_to_work_again~3537960/Sun, 06 Jan 2008 20:07:19 +0100 <p>hi again, i decided that i'm going to give my fella a chance. I can't say that i know what i want still though, and i'm not going to lie. It's the strangest thing, I seem to have more feeling for him when he isn't home, and i know if this was a friend saying this to me, i'd probably say to her that she was more in love with an idea of love, than actually being in love. Whether i'm deluding myself, i couldn't say. I know that when i have thought about ended it, i become scared, i don't want him out of my life, and i know he'd have to be if we weren't lovers. I'm going to treat this site like a diary-not very private, but no one knows me. Would be good to get some input from people, who don't know me have nothing invested and can just give valid unbiased advice.<br> Lots of things going on at the moment, so far this year hasn't been very good, burying someone special next week. I feel like an outsider going to this funeral though, its a long story, maybe i'll go into it another time, just not ready yet, too many unresolved feelings.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/05/title~3532727/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2008/01/05/title~3532727/Sat, 05 Jan 2008 17:27:53 +0100 <p>I've already posted today, but i'm struggling with some feelings and thoughts at the moment (and the past few months) I'm not sure what i want from my relationship, or if i even want it at all! we've been seeing each other for 3 years, but we're so different. Its not always a bad thing, and we've had lots of good times. I just feel that lately what i used to like about him is turning into what i find most irrating! I find myself getting angry when he's around. He knows there's little things with me that make a big difference to my mood. I like a tidy house for instance, and he'll just leave things all over the floor, then have ago when i pick them up to put things in the bin. Says i have an ocd!! No, i have kids and don't want the tripping over his crap!! Seems like a silly thing to moan about i suppose. Right now he's down the pub, getting tickets to tonights celebrations, and all i'm thinking is do i really want to bring in another new year with this guy???!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2007/12/31/do_i_stay_with_him_or_not~3511069/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2007/12/31/do_i_stay_with_him_or_not~3511069/Mon, 31 Dec 2007 14:39:19 +0100 <p>this would be my second blog, i really thought i'd get into this and be on it everyday....this is my second blog, and i signed up ages ago!! Well, lots been going on, can't sit at the computer tapping away (except facebook ho hum) I completly forgot about it! </p> <p>I hope everyone had a fab christmas??!! Not looking forward to starting the much needed diet, have big plans (matches my knickers) gonna get into shape for the summer, which shape, remains to be seen.......</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2007/12/31/title~3510303/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2007/12/31/title~3510303/Mon, 31 Dec 2007 11:43:33 +0100 <p>hello all in blogland, hope everyone is well and sitting comfortably (i'm bloody well not) I've had a wander through this site and am awed and inspired (hopefully) by some of your amazing blogs. Some are silly, funny, heart wretching and basically just interesting. There's an astounding amount really clever writers, I'm not that great with words, but i try, i may sit there with a thesaurus in hand trying to find a better word to say the exact same thing, i said i may, but i probably won't! Feel free to let me know if i should though, i can take a bit of critisim ( sure there's plenty to critises in my spelling )a bit though, not a lot, i'm highly sensitive and cry easy, thats a porky actually but still be gentle-look forward to hearing from you. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2007/09/30/hello~3063015/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://discovery98.blog.co.uk/2007/09/30/hello~3063015/Sun, 30 Sep 2007 16:40:01 +0200